Wednesday, May 20, 2009

New Name for American Idol?

Wow, must the producers of American Idol be ticked (more specifically, the artist management arm of the show): Just when American Idol had finally achieved a sense of legitimacy within the music industry and we'd almost forgotten the Taylor Hicks debacle...BAM!

No surprises on American Idol's finale tonight, but I am thinking American Idol should be renamed...Here are a few suggestions:

"Rock" Star Lite (with the word "rock" in ironic quotation marks, as shown)

The Guy (or Girl) the American Idol Audience is the Least Afraid Of

The Music Idol of Christian Conservatives

The Guy Next Door Who Can Sing and Had Some Nice Moments but Who Doesn't Have as Much Star Quality as the Guy Who Really Should Have Won

The Guy Who Has Some of the Elements of the Total Package But Still Needs a Little Work on One or Two of Them

The Guy or Girl Most Appealing to Fox

Come on People! Kris Allen is talented, and he has some nice moments. But when Kris himself on the winner's stage seemed genuinely shocked and said, with true sincerity, that it should have been Adam, there's a problem.

As I wrote in our MBADC American Idol Armchair Quarterback column on, of the two finalists, Adam Lambert is the total package: vocal ability, stage presence, looks, star quality, and needs the least development to be great.

Kris Allen has some, but not as many, of those elements. I'm not saying he doesn't have the potential. I even chose him as one of my favorites on one of his performance nights in the early part of the competition. But an idol needs more than potential. It should be there already. Adam already has it.

Idols are supposed to be different than the guy next door. Paraphrasing what Simon Cowell said recently in an interview, stars sparkle like diamonds and should be rare. I wholeheartedly agree.

On the upside, at least Adam doesn't have to sing or promote the winner's song ever again!

Advice to next year's wannabe winners on Idol: Pretend to be an evangelical, and talk about it a lot in interviews. Looking at the show's track record of winners, you'll apparently have a better shot.

(I'm kidding, so relax. I have nothing against religion, just a problem with those who try to make their own religion everyone else's. Believe whatever you like, live and let live, and don't exclude others who don't happen to believe what you do. Excluding others on the basis of their beliefs is what led to a whoooooooole lotta trouble in Germany, among other places.)

Someone, please bring back Rock Star (and its music director and house band with it)...It was sooo much better than American Idol. And a hell of a lot more believable!

Meanwhile, if you want to read our week by week rundown of the entire American Idol season, it's here: